Let Your Body Do The Connection

These two politicians visit Singapore’s PM Lee during the last one week.  In which of these two pictures, do you think the politicians are better connected?

Ex-Malaysian DPM Calls on PM Lee

Indonesian Presidential Hopeful Meets PM Lee

Former general Prabowo Subianto, a front runner in Indonesia’s 2014 presidential election paid a courtesy call on PM Lee.  He sat upright, on the edge of the sofa settee with his hands clasped together.  No doubt he seemed enthusiastic but his body language also indicated uncertainty to the extent that he came across as trying “too hard” to connect.  On the other hand, ex-Malaysian DPM Musa Hitam, looked more at ease, comfortable and confident in his meeting with the Prime Minister.

“Body language tells you the things that people cannot, will not, or do not wish to say in words.” – Geoff Ribbens

We all communicate beyond words. A better understanding of the subject of body language will enable us to read between the lines of spoken words and what people really mean.  This will allow us to exude greater confidence, connect better and carry greater influence.  Notice how PM Lee appeared more connected in the first picture but looked rather obliging in the second picture.

So, the next time when you see a client or desire to build better rapport with the person whom you are meeting, sit back, relax and use open hand gestures.  Not only do you come across assured and at ease, you make the other person feel more comfortable with you too.

However, most of us are “blind” to the messages our bodies are sending.  Unless we carry a mirror everywhere we go and see our own body postures, hand gestures and facial expressions, we are probably unaware why we sometimes fail to connect.

I am sure the former Indonesian general was not aware of how he came across.   Similarly, we all have our “blind spots”.  Ask the people around you for any negative messages you’ve been sending without your knowledge.  You may be surprised or even upset by what you hear.  Alas, the truth will set you free and help you become a better communicator.